Campanella

you’ve always known what was happening
there is no secret in your mind
even now, when the train is leaving
you knew where we would find
the truth in the word “happiness”
that the stars showed you signs of
our destinations that will never cross
not until the end of time

I stared at the evening sky
a choir of lights swimming on a milky sea
tears flood my ever-fatigued eyes
as I remembered what you’ve told me
you said the true heaven lies in the
very depths of this dark galaxy
still I asked you sincerely
we’ll always be together, won’t we?

you stepped into the light where
it was really dark for me
but know I will always remember
this end part of our journey
i know we’ll always be together
your flame will light my nights forever
and sing like bells ringing
a haunting song, a final coda
from here to the edge of the universe
goodbye, my dear Campanella

you are, i am

here you are, sitting a little yonder
though the distance is short
it feels even farther

here i am, keeping my mind in order
with a mere glance of your smile
it feels like forever

by your grace, i am cursed
by your spirit, i am damned
there is nothing i can do
you are, i am

there you are, basked in the flashing lights
dancing across the tiled floor
let me dream of you tonight

there i am, keeping my heart in my chest
ready to burst with your glow
this night might be the best

by your grace, i am cursed
by your spirit, i am damned
is there nothing i can do?
you are, i am

the music is ending, the coda is near
but i haven’t even got a single verse in
you are a ball of light, a shining star
but being afraid to burn is my greatest sin

by just your smile, i am melting
am i in love? yes i am
but there’s nothing i can do
you are, i am

Loop

You held my hand as the buckles in my seat tightened. The sky was dark, the wind was cold.
I was scared but you said “trust me” and promised not to let go.
I heard the engines roll and as my feet slowly rose above the ground, reality sunk in.
I was in the ride you pulled me into.
Higher and higher I felt my chest tighten and louder the crowd screamed.
Then everything happened so fast. The only thing I can recall was the wind blowing my hair as I screamed my life out enjoying every passing minute of the turns and the falls.
When the ride was over I turned to look at you but the seat you once occupied was empty. The momentary feeling of happiness was drained away as fear crept in.
I tried to unbuckle myself but the seatbelt was broken. I was stuck and no matter how loud I cried for help no one could seem to hear me.
Again the engines rolled and I lost my way above the ground. I was in the ride again – in the roller coaster of hell.
My ride is different, and how you may ask? Each inverted turn my seatbelt goes loose and I fall to the ground feeling every bone in my body break. I wake up to find myself in the same seat where I have to go through the ride again.
Over and over again.

Eclipse

She called herself the moon.
A silver plate hanging above.
She shares her light
In the darkness of the night.

He was the sun.
A huge ball of fire hanging above.
He uncovers the dark sheet of the night
by spreading his ray of lights.

I saved the girl, I killed myself

I saw that girl betrayed her lover,

She kissed another guy and held hands with him

They went into the deepest part of the forest.

 

She was dragged into the darkness

Her head filled with air,

Before it’s too late

I pulled her out from her sin.

Deranged

 

 

Have you ever been so numb you had to force yourself to feel?

Have you ever asked yourself if what you felt was real?

Have you ever been so helpless, begging to feel again?

Have you ever felt you were alive, but you don’t remember when?

 

Have you ever felt so lost in time, you wake up to another day –

Wondering if you were even really there yesterday?

Have you ever wished for time to stop, because you’re too tired to carry on –

You don’t know what’s real or not, you can’t even tell what’s right from wrong.

 

Have you ever felt like everyday you’re off to fight a war –

And you end up losing everything that made you who you are?

You raise your flag, you shout surrender – but no one hears you cry

You wish you could just throw your armor, get shot and slowly die.

 

And when you’re at the brink of death, what would you be wishing for?

Would you still fight to be alive, or would you convince yourself no more?

 

 

Have you ever felt that every day, you try to run away from death?

Every day he’s chasing you until you’re out of breath?

Have you ever felt so afraid, not knowing when you’d lose your sight –

Not knowing how long you can still hold on before you lose the fight?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Benumbed

I don’t think I am still interested in you…

For when he’s near, 

I only want to keep my distance from you.

When he speaks of solace, 

I only want to excise your curses in my head.

And when he smiles,

I can’t imagine shedding another tear or

being alone in the midst of uncertainty

for I am no longer interested in you…

Upgraded

In the absence of the sun,

We create fire

For it provides light and warmth

In the absence of music,

We sing our hearts out

For it exposes the same feelings

And in my fragmentary absence,

You found her

For we are not comparable,

She seems better.

Deadened

Long time ago,

You forced me to bury it.

I tried to refuse for

It was still alive.

I dug until I reached the core

I begged, I prayed

As your eyes told me,

“Go ahead, let it die.”

Sleepless nights,

Lifelike nightmares.

There were days when

It haunted me, scared me.

One day, it stopped reeking

Like cyanogen

Only then I realized that

It already died within me.

Why do you want to

Open its tomb when it is

Already in peace,

Torn to pieces?

“When did you lose it?”

You asked.

“It died the very moment

You decided to love it less.”

Unrequited

And in my finest effort

To be the best person

I could be

I remained unlovable

There was an unimaginable

Me and thee

That moment, your eyes

Were wide open,

Filled with clarity

But I was dour and blurred,

Too invisible

For you to see

When you said

You do not love me,

I believed with all my might

Because I looked through

Your heart and not

Through your organ of sight