They said, “You lost your glow”. I was a strong lass, I know. He took what I had and what I was supposed to get. He gave nothing but false hopes and regrets. He insisted it was me who made him worse. And that I was a bitch, jinx and a nerve-racking curse. Oh yes, calling me a bitch is quite acceptable. I was a strong woman but handling my guts, he wasn’t capable. His words and actions made me want to reflect. And only now, I realized that I should completely disconnect. I know, it’s tiring — this endless melancholy. So temporarily, I am leaving everything that connects him to me. Create a permanent form of analgesia. Bury all memoirs like getting amnesia. Ignore all the melodies that remind me of how happy and fucked up I was with him. Focus on things that will help me rebuild my precious self-esteem. Maybe, I should start dancing or running to and from the corners. Rediscover the beauty of life that I missed when we’re together. Pursue my childhood dream of becoming a healer of faunae. Love myself first before I could completely trust somebody.


But for now, I would dedicate to him these rhymes immersed in love and fury. One day, I will get through these five stages of grief and misery.


~ by Daneee on August 1, 2013.

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