•November 19, 2013 • Leave a Comment
She remembers the day she had to let go of her favorite doll
And the days she had to bid her father goodbye.
She remembers the first time she got ruined by intoxicants
And the ambrosial smoke that got her high.
She remembers the first people she had attachment with
And the faces of those who exited and stuck around.
She remembers the day she first heard of silence
And its lyrics and melody that kept her frail and unsound.
She remembers all of these when her walls were burned down
And her faith was breached, fooled away once more.
She remembers her intimacy with betrayal and sorrow,
The reasons behind the twofold lock on her door.
She remembers as if the pain he caused was a sort of déjà vu,
Coz like any other, he adorned her world then painted it dark blue.
•October 25, 2013 • Leave a Comment
I always wanted to believe
that our love will never last
though it seems to be a puzzle
that pieces never fits
and both were getting tired
putting it all together
•September 13, 2013 • 1 Comment
Sorry if your messages were ignored
As if the piece you scathed has already healed
Even if from me, you don’t hear a word
All these veins still continuously bleed
In the morning my face may draw a smile
But don’t think that I no longer drown in tears
Though letting go has been easier with thousand miles
Your absence is still one of my greatest fears
And with me your burden only got heavier
‘Cause you said I turned your best into worse
Perhaps, I no longer deserve you as my lover
Until I learn to love and value myself first
•August 26, 2013 • Leave a Comment
As you can see I can collapse in one-two-three
But like a Martian you attacked my territory
Best if you will orchestrate your actions and verses
Cause I can no longer break into smaller pieces…
•August 14, 2013 • Leave a Comment
I envy Gretel for she had Hansel
When she got lost and caught by the Witch
When she fought and tried to get out
of the devilish, sweet candy house
As I found myself
in the midst of gigantic trees
I wished to be held in someone’s hand
But there were none
Hazy and shivery
Scared of the wolves roaming around
Weak, hopeless, terrified
Lost in the woods, shallow and dark.
•August 11, 2013 • Leave a Comment
the night was yours
so was the sky
you’ve shone brightly
across the rivers
above the fields.
you saw them look up
you saw them look unto you
you’re never alone.
you’ve never been alone
until you’ve lost your light
arcing down the horizon
they’ve made a wish,
you’re never alone
until you’ve lost your place
diving deep into their memory
they’ve made their wish
until you’re forgotten
the night was yours
so was the sky.
•August 1, 2013 • Leave a Comment
They said, “You lost your glow”. I was a strong lass, I know. He took what I had and what I was supposed to get. He gave nothing but false hopes and regrets. He insisted it was me who made him worse. And that I was a bitch, jinx and a nerve-racking curse. Oh yes, calling me a bitch is quite acceptable. I was a strong woman but handling my guts, he wasn’t capable. His words and actions made me want to reflect. And only now, I realized that I should completely disconnect. I know, it’s tiring — this endless melancholy. So temporarily, I am leaving everything that connects him to me. Create a permanent form of analgesia. Bury all memoirs like getting amnesia. Ignore all the melodies that remind me of how happy and fucked up I was with him. Focus on things that will help me rebuild my precious self-esteem. Maybe, I should start dancing or running to and from the corners. Rediscover the beauty of life that I missed when we’re together. Pursue my childhood dream of becoming a healer of faunae. Love myself first before I could completely trust somebody.
But for now, I would dedicate to him these rhymes immersed in love and fury. One day, I will get through these five stages of grief and misery.